There is not a single person on the planet who believes change is easy. Long-term, sustainable change is not for the faint of heart – it requires self-reflection, hard work, patience, and lots of failure. Personal change promises to relieve us of the pain in our past, and it helps us imagine a more hopeful future. In spite of this, changing our behavior is one of the hardest things to do.
Two factors are absolutely necessary for long-lasting change: motivation and confidence. We have to want to change our behavior, and we have to believe that we are capable of changing our behavior. When we have a strong desire to change, it’s a little easier to roll up our sleeves and get to work. The promise of a better future self carries us through the initial stages of change, but it only goes so far. While motivation gets us into the ring, it doesn’t necessarily help us stay in the ring, especially after we’re knocked down.
When we’re knocked down, it’s hard to remain confident in our ability to change. In order to increase our confidence, we must acknowledge our setbacks and learn from our past attempts at change. When it comes to change, in order to move forward, you have to look back. Without understanding our past attempts, change is not just hard, it’s downright impossible. Here are a few questions that might help you prepare for your next attempt at change:
1). What past attempts have I made to change?
2). What specific thoughts/behaviors made these attempts successful?
3). What specific thoughts/behaviors made these attempts unsuccessful?
4). What happened that made it hard for me to get back up after I was knocked down?
5). What skills would I have to learn in order to make my next change attempt more successful?
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