Most couples cite “communication problems” as the primary reason for attending therapy. Fortunately, a significant majority of clients notice immediate results after learning practical communication strategies. Keep reading for three simple tips to improve communication tonight!
Put your phone away.
We’ve all had the uncomfortable experience of talking to someone while they’re sneaking a peek at their phones. Most of us are also guilty of phubbing: snubbing others in favor of our phones. When we stare at our phones, we turn away from our partner. We are in a world that does not necessarily include our partner, and without realizing it, we send the message that our phone is more important than our partner. Try this: keep your phone in another room for one hour this evening. Was it easier to be present with your partner?
What’s your body saying?
Our bodies are talking, and you can bet our partners are listening. Facial expressions, hand gestures, use of space, body posture – there are so many ways to say “I really enjoy being with you” or “You’re annoying, go away.” Try this: without telling your partner what you’re up to, use negative body language for a few minutes. Then, use positive body language for a few minutes. Did you notice a difference in your partner’s response?
Ask curious questions.
How often do we ask, “how was your day?” and not really care about the response? How much more connected would you feel if you took a few minutes to ask questions and truly pay attention to the answer? Try this: ask your partner one curious question this evening, such as “have you read or watched anything recently that caught your attention?” or “what’s been keeping you up at night?” How did these questions change the quality of your conversations?
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